Monday, May 17, 2010

Warning Labels

I love warning labels. Actually, I just love how blatantly stupid warning labels are… and the incredible amount of stupidity that comes with them.

“Warning: Contains peanuts” on a jar of salted peanuts. I would certainly hope it contained peanuts! It’s kind of heavy for a jar of air.

“Warning: Contents hot” on a Styrofoam cup of hot coffee. Personally I would be kind of pissed if my hot coffee wasn’t hot.

“Warning: Electric shock. Do not operate while showering” on a blow drier. Wouldn’t that be kind of counter productive?

And the one that is inspiring this topic that I read last night... “Warning: Do not leave driver’s seat while cruise control is engaged.” in an RV owner’s manual. Evidently the guy that caused it to get added went to the back while the RV was still moving to get coffee…

I mean seriously… how dense do you have to be?! Those are just some that I remember. There are worse ones out there. And all these stupid labels come about because people get hurt and sue (and win…) because they were too stupid to use common sense. Personally I think they got what they deserved! Yes, the jar of peanuts contains peanuts, the Styrofoam coffee cup has hot coffee in it and is easily crushed, the blow drier will fry your ass if you put it in water, and the RV is not going to turn itself!

Seriously… warning labels should be for things you wouldn’t expect. Engine may overheat/explode if driven over 100 mph, dog food may spontaneously combust if gotten wet and left to rot, taking this drug may give you an urge to gamble(don’t remember the drug, but was for restless leg syndrome)!

People like this…

are NOT cause for a warning label! They are what is called natural selection.

This has been Gwen. Your pissed off, ranting redhead, and I blame you for my warning label… “Warning: Contains insanity”.

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