I posted one of these a month back or so, here’s a continuation of it.
~ If you decide you don’t want something when at home do you just leave it laying around? No? Then pretend you’re home and don’t leave it at the end of the lane. Give it to the cashier and tell them “I don’t want it” or something to that nature. This goes triple if it’s a cold or frozen item. There’s nothing quite like finding a container of ice cream you stuck in the candy rack all nice and melted 3 hours later.
~You know those little plastic rectangles that are beside the belt? Those are dividers. They are there so that your items and the previous person’s items don’t get mixed up. USE THEM! Even if you’re stuff is way back put one up. As I said in the previous one of these, we can’t pay attention to everything and a lot of us just keep scanning until there are no items left or we hit one of the dividers.
~I know I mentioned watching your children in the last one of these I made. Allow me to expand on it. If you can’t control your loin spawn, LEAVE THEM HOME! There is a customer that comes in my store for example. Their child screams the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME they’re in the store. Telling (actually its usually yelling at) your child “No!” and “Put it back!” doesn’t work if you haven’t shown them the consequences for not listening! The employees bask in the silence for a couple seconds any time people like you leave the store!
Here, allow me to help. This has worked for a very long time and is a well known cure for unruly child. Place hand behind child’s buttocks. Move it back approx 4-5”. Accelerate it towards child’s buttocks quickly. This is called a “spanking”. It works wonders. Don’t administer it while you’re pissed off.
~Cell phones. Do I really need to go into cell phones? Evidently I do! Hang up your god damned phone when you’re checking out. Do you have any fucking idea how rude that is? I am supposed to talk to you. If I interrupt your amazingly important call too bad. Also, if I ask for your loyalty card, and you don’t respond after 2 times then I am going to assume you don’t have one. Rude? Probably. But look who’s calling the kettle black.
People like you make me wish I could still do what the policy was at the pizza place I used to work at. If you were in line, and talking on your phone… we’d skip over you until you were done.
This has been Gwen. Your pissed off, ranting redhead. And allow me to introduce my new product! The “cell phone blocker”! It’s a heavy piece of metal perfect for blocking the reception of a cell phone. Just slam it into the phone until it no longer has reception… or is in pieces. Whichever comes first. We at Gwen’s Psychotic Products are not responsible for injury from improper use of this product or flying cell phone pieces. Not to be used as a spanking device.